Loving my wife - now!

I'm 20 years old. My freinds all around me are falling in love, getting married, and all that goodness. I'm single, which is alright with me, but some demented part of me is envious of what my freinds have. I know that the season isn't right for me though, and that God is perfect in his timing and his plan is all that I want. That being said, it can be really difficult not only to remain sexually pure in mind and body, but to keep my emotions (my heart) from well.. running amok, shall we say. Then it hit me: Love God, and love your wife. Its not a hard leap to make. We love people even when they aren't around us, and even when we don't know what they want or are really like. So its pretty simple really- love not the idea of the wife, but infact behave lovingly towards that person who you don't even know who is yet. And that, for me, means honoring her by keeping myself pure, and by not giving out emotions to daydreams and passing ideas. Thats all I can do for now. But its really everything I should be doing. God help me.

The heart of God

Trying to be a  Godly person can be hard. Being washed in the blood of Jesus, we often times feel far from God because we continue to make mistakes, and to sin. Or we get wrapped up in trying to be perfect, and get too worn out to really see God in it all. But what is God's heart on the matter?

Because we are cleansed from our sin and attributed the righteousness of Jesus, the bible says we can boldy enter into the throne room of God, as sons and daughters of his. Similarly, the bible definitely says to come as you are. God doesn't need you to wash up before you come before him- Jesus already took care of that. We can't make ourselves perfect or holy before him. What God cares about is us seeking him, and us having faith in him. By having faith, that means not only believing that he's there, but believing that we are his beloved children and that he will hear and speak to us, and act when we pray. It also means being obedient to what he tells us, even when we're not entirely sure of it.

Once we seek God, God will respond by meeting us where we are. This is what God wants, a relationship with us. Its not a competition, its not us trying to appease an evil master, its just us and father. In his time, and as we serve him, he will fix the things that are wrong with us. Its not us being self-righteous and self-perfecting for him, its him correcting us and making us in his image.

I would post some verses to go with this, but its 4:26am and i need to sleep. Night all

Lust, pornography, and why it is destructive

As a young christian man, I find myself often questioning the things I am taught, especially when they are just abstractions of what is in the bible. One of the things that is most pounded into people through teaching and prayer, and discipleship, is that pornography and masturbation are morally wrong and "sinful". However, the bible nowhere explicity or implicitly says that masturbation is wrong, despite strong admonitions against other matters of sexuality. Many people take this as a free pass to unlimited sexual self-fufillment. But what is God's heart on the matter, in all actuality?

Jesus said that lusting after a woman in our hearts is committing adultery. But, you say, there is a difference between lusting and being sexually aroused. This is very true. Sexual attraction is a natural part of human life. My take on the matter (and I could be wrong) is that lust is actually the conscious desire to have sex with another person. Sexual attraction is completely different (although related obviously). So, giving yourself the benefit of the doubt, it is quite possible to masturbate without lust.

However, another issue still remains. What effect does masturbation have on your mind? And what effect does pornography have on the way you think about members of the opposite sex?

There is an answer to this. First off, lets address masturbation. Masturbation is, obviously, a form of sexual release. Just as any other form, it is very addictive.  After any period of abstinance, you begin to have very strong and uncontrollable cravings. There may be a level of physical pain. And even if there is not, your mind will, out of habit, desire sexual behavior. Any addiction is bad, even if necessarily sinful by itself.

The problem is, as a Christian waiting until marriage for sex, that the appeal to marriage is sexual fufillment or freedom. Simply put, marriage becomes defined by sex: The reason you get married, is so that you can have sex. This completely destroys the beautiful, spiritual picture of love and unity and self sacrifice... and turns it into something vile. Unity of flesh without unity of spirit, is like baking a cake without stirring up the oil and vinegar and milk, completely vile. This is why a majority (some 56% or so) of marriages, even christian ones, fail. 

However, if one does not have sexuality so strongly ingrained into one's mind, this preconception will never occur. Sure, sex may be one of the benefits of being married, but true love and true appreciation can and will occur. Without the chemical drive of sexual addiction, one will not feel compelled to rush into marriage with someone they may not entirely like, or even know that well. One can take time and wait for a relationship to develop with the man or woman that God has for them, instead of artificially trying to develop a like for someone they think they love.

Lastly, I would like to throw in a word about pornography. Pornography is not only food for the flesh, and a ready avenue for lust, but it is also very perverted. Sure, there may be some natural intercourse portrayed at times, but there is a huge amount of strange and fetish behavior, each with an individual niche of fufillment. You hear it time and time again, but I will say it once more: it is very demeaning to women. Not only that, but it puts desires for strange things, and to do those things which are demeaning. 

I must greive for the impact pornography has had on girls, especially the ones that watch it themselves. The impact it has on girls is worse- they come to believe that they must do these demeaning things to please guys, and this makes them believe that they aren't worth anything. How screwed up is that? Sex is supposed to be pleasing and a form of affection, not of dominance. The effect pornography has had on our nation and our world, is appalling, for that fact alone.

In conclusion, while masturbation is not inherently wrong, its effects are destructive, and therefore it is sin. Its like, pulling the trigger on a gun; its not what kills, but it sends the bullet on its way. Song of Solomon says not to awake love before its time. Masturbation does exactly that.

With that, I say goodnight

Why bad men prosper and good men perish

Mal 2:17  You have wearied Jehovah with your words. Yet you say, In what have we wearied Him? When you say, Every evildoer is good in the eyes of Jehovah, and He delights in them; or, Where is the God of justice? 

Mal 3:7  From the days of your fathers, you have turned aside from My statutes, and have not kept them. Return to Me, and I will return to you, says Jehovah of Hosts. But you say. In what way shall we return? 

Mal 3:8  Will a man rob God? Yet you have robbed Me. But you say, In what have we robbed You? In the tithe and the offering! 

Mal 3:9  You are cursed with a curse; for you are robbing Me, the nation, all of it. 

Mal 3:10  Bring all the tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in My house. And test Me now with this, says Jehovah of Hosts, to see if I will not open the windows of Heaven for you, and pour out a blessing for you, until there is not enough room. 

Mal 3:11  And I will rebuke your devourer, and he shall not decay the fruit of your ground against you; nor shall your vine miscarry against you in the field, says Jehovah of Hosts. 

Mal 3:12  And all nations shall call you blessed; for you shall be a delightful land, says Jehovah of Hosts. 

Mal 3:13  Your words have been strong against Me, says Jehovah. Yet you say, What have we spoken against You? 

Mal 3:14  You have said, It is vain to serve God; and, What profit is it that we have kept His charge, and that we have walked as mourners before Jehovah of Hosts? 

Mal 3:15  And now we are calling the arrogant blessed. Not only are the doers of wickedness built up, they also test God, and escape. 

Mal 3:16  Then those fearing Jehovah spoke together, each man to his neighbor. And Jehovah listened and heard. And a book of remembrance was written before Him for those who feared Jehovah, and for those esteeming His name. 

Mal 3:17  And they shall be Mine, says Jehovah of Hosts, for the day that I will make up My treasure. And I will pity them as a man has pity on his son who serves him. 

Mal 3:18  Then you shall again see the difference between the righteous and the wicked, between him who serves God, and him who does not serve Him. 

Letting God's plan work

Today, I was sitting at prayer meeting, and i started to fidget with my keychain. I took it out of my pocket, and as usual, it was a complete tangly mess (its actually my dog tag chain, so its meant to hang around a neck, not be in a wad).  Anyways, as I was detangling my chain, I just got the picture that the chain was God's plan, and the keys are his work. If you stick the chain in your pocket, itll get into a huge mess of knots and require a lot of work to make useful. However, if you keep it out, on your finger, or around your neck, it will stay straight and be ready to be used at all times. Likewise, if you don't always have God's plan and God's work in a place of priority in your life, and in your thoughts, you will get so tangled up that you won't be able to do God's work when he is ready for you to.

Things that have happened in the last 24 hours

The first awesome and encouraging thing in the Lord that happened, was I, out of my humanly curiousity, saught to understand my prayer language. I began by searching Google for words out of my prayers, but to no avail. Frankly i dont think i could spell them even if i knew them.

So instead, i searched for something i was sure would be in my prayers : the names of God. First page i clicked on, had a bunch of names, many of which i'd never heard before. The first one i didnt recognize, Kadesh/kadosh, means the holy one, or the Lord who sanctifies, was a word that had been repeated in my prayers. How radical is that!

The second beautiful thing God did was while I was lingering between the morning and noon prayer meetings. I was going for a walk, but i decided to drive up to a place i could overlook the whole valley from. I asked God what I should pray for, but the only thing that came into my mind was, this hill is covered with trash, go pick it up. So, reluctantly, I picked up all the nasty garbage on the hillside (every nasty thing you could think of was down there). After i had finished, i looked out, and the view was almost unadulterated beauty. Then, when i was putting the trash bags in my car to take away, I thanked God for the work he has been doing in my life, removing the garbage from my heart, making it beautiful again. Then God showed me, I could have done like any other person and just passed on, leaving the place to decay and become uglier. Thats not what happened though, I cleaned up the mess, making it beautiful again for all to see. God does the same work in my life. Its not the most pleasant task for God, but the fact is he could have passed me by to rot in filth. But instead he saw in me a beautiful thing, and cleaned up my life. Praise God! Object lessons for the win :P

Later today, an enormous temptation came upon me. My flesh desired strongly to give into the temptation, which it has on so many occasions before. I prayed to God to strengthen me. God didn't give me instant strength though, he allowed the temptation to continue, and allow my full weakness to show. Then he gave me a choice: Become weaker, or choose to accept the Strength of God, and bring me into more of his power. Gladly to say, I made the right choice. And God has made me stronger for it. Praise God!

Jesus must be #1

Reference: Luke 14:16-35

Luk 14:16  And He said to him, A certain man made a great supper and invited many. 17  And he sent his servant at supper time to say to those who were invited, Come, for all things are now ready. 18  And all with one consent began to make excuse. The first said to him, I have bought a piece of ground, I must go and see it. I beg you, have me excused. 19  And another said, I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I am going to test them. I beg you, have me excused. 20  And another said, I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come. 21  And coming up that servant reported these things to his lord. And the master of the house, being angry, said to his servant, Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city and bring in here the poor and the maimed, and the lame and the blind. 22  And the servant said, Lord, it is done as you have commanded, and still there is room. 23  And the lord said to the servant, Go out into the highways and hedges and compel them to come in, so that my house may be filled. 24  For I say to you that none of these men who were invited shall taste of my supper. 

As children of God, we must always be ready to answer God's calling. When God tells us to do something, he doesnt expect us to say, "Oh, i'll do that after im done doing this... ". Likewise when God convicts us of something, he expects us to respond to that conviction. It angers God when we make excuses, or say stuff like, "God, I'll give up my sinful behaviour, just let me sleep with this girl one last time." We must be ready for God at all times. God will accept no other place but number one in our lives, and when other things are more pressing to us than God's calling, it is unacceptable to God. Yes, God is forgiving. Yes, Jesus always has open arms to us. But if God isn't number one in our lives, then he's not there at all. This is exactly what Jesus says to us in the next verse:

Luk 14:26  If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. 

Jesus doesnt want us to hate our loved ones, and even our own lives. He just wants us to hold them to no account compared to him. No competition!